As evinced in the very name of our publication, THE GLORY WHORE takes an active interest in noting shining examples of sheer exhibitionism and tasteless self-sponsorship in all its forms. No stunt is too outrageous; no act too tawdry. And so, in the spirit of our profound appreciation for appallingly meretricious displays, we at the GW are proud to offer this humble tribute to the champions of exquisite vulgarity and ostentation: The Whorey.

Every month, we shall bestow the honourable distinction of The Whorey upon the most worthy recipient(s) who truly exemplify the fine traditions of obnoxious self-promotion and scandalous image-management. These pitiable demonstrations will be given particular commendation if they appear to be presented with complete sincerity. Nominations are not restricted to spectacles carried out during the given month, nor limited to those from the higher stratum of superstardom; although, they're the most prolific in their attention-seeking capacity. All performers at any time have equal opportunity to "shine in our showcase of shallowness and shame."

The Whorey this month goes to a group of individuals. They are numerous, their successes abound - although as far as I know, they are not connected to music in the slightest. I even doubt if any of them play an instrument, save perhaps the horn they blow occasionally to bleat out their outstanding achievements with audacious self-congratulation. This month we recognise: The Participants Who Made Possible the Deregulation of the Energy Industry. The latest consequence of their ongoing scam left approximately 65 million people without electricity on August 14… which you'll surely remember, and not without some bitterness.

Ohio's FirstEnergy is apparently responsible for the negligence leading to the recent fiasco, but the origins of the Lie that enabled this great swindle go back a couple of decades when nuclear plants were being built, costing consumers billions and billions and then left to be grossly mismanaged. Some of these crooks were actually caught faking records and employing casino-style accounting methods. Needless to say, they went under. The companies were bought up and in due time, allowed to cutback on the expenses of proper upkeep, made possible by deregulation. This provided a splendid monetary boon to stockholders while hundreds of employees were canned and consumers were left with a dangerously bungled electrical grid and colossal energy bills. So, with palms greased with dirty money and extraordinary promises of superior services promptly abandoned, they stepped up to the light-switch and boldly declared: LET THERE BE LI- oh well, maybe not…

At this time, brothers and sisters, I'd like you to turn your attention to the reading from today's Gospel, which comes to us from the book of Energy Companies & Their Government Cronies…

In the beginning, there was the Lie and the Lie was presently unfeasible. Frustrated and dejected, energy companies listlessly wandered the desert of their thwarted aspirations for uncontested corruption. And shouting aloud, they asked themselves: How the hell are we supposed to be able to line our pockets and those of our shareholders with consumers' money with all these wretched "laws" and "regulations" hindering our chicanery? Then, the answer came that would deliver these reckless men and women from the bondage of accountability: "Get Rid of the Rules!" And lo, as though from the heavens, did come the deluge of the bribe, the lobby and the bounteous Presidential campaign donations, (particularly, for Republican deities). And the legislators saw the vast fiscal gain and saw that it was good.

And the Lie was put thus: "without intrusive regulations, will there be lower energy rates for all!" And the Lie became legislation. The Lie would then travel far and cross the oceans. Hence, was Houston Natural Gas awarded one of the first legitimised, deregulated facilities, (you might know them better by their more popular name, "Enron"). And the Lie was challenged by ungrateful heathens, whose minimal reduction in electricity bills was underplayed by soaring surcharges… but the Lie prevailed! Some remaining regulatory bodies were jealous, and ventured to stop the spread of Divine Deregulation and approved renewable energy alternatives, but the Lie likewise vanquished these foes!

The official scribes went forth and spread the Lie through their daily publications; instead of explanations for the price hikes and laxity of service, stories like California's December 2000 blackout was wrapped in mystical language and declared a "divine mystery". And the Lie would go on to perform many such miracles. The Lie was well received in Canada to the north and as far south as Brazil, where similar marvels of inadequate maintenance, frequent outages and ever-increasing electricity bills and were beheld by all. In the name of the Unholy Trinity, the collusion of Government, Corporations and the Media, all the power and the money, forever and ever. Amen.

Now we come to the really compelling nominations that earned these champions of righteousness and benevolence the Whorey:

1. First: the success of the major players to manipulate the public into believing that the deregulation of the energy industry would actually effect a decrease in the cost to consumers and an increase in service levels, despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary - evidence which has been accumulating over many years;
   
2. Second: instead of examining the possibility of introducing safer, environmentally advantageous and more reliable energy sources, (which is available right now) these same jokers are using the recent blackout to justify pouring more of our money into the existing faulty grid AND encourage more deregulation. Perhaps it won't stop with electricity… we might soon see deregulators dance with partners like healthcare, or education, or food stocks, or water, (they're already motioning to the dance floor, folks);
   
3. Third: the ever-reliable assistance of the compliant corporate media to help persuade ordinary people, (not big-business) to conserve energy. It was hard not to notice that in the first day of the initial crisis, while our "public representatives" were offering the conservation plea, the gaudy shop windows and sales floors of corporate giants like The Gap were perfectly illuminated. It's also difficult to observe the recent increase of news articles intended to convince people that conserving energy is "cool", "vogue", "the latest craze", with messages like "don't be an energy-hog", and not laugh…

The joke lies within the articles of the FTA, NAFTA and other unfair agreements enforced by the WTO - a governing body that was never, ever democratically legitimised in this country, although its rulings, we're told, must be abided by for some reason or other. The mandates of these types of agreements prohibit Canada from storing surpluses of energy fuels, even in the event of emergencies such as the one forced upon us recently. Here comes the wind-up… The comedic twist is that the US is exempt from this restriction - their reason: "national security". Canada has the means to easily provide more than enough energy by various sources to meet our needs, but the energy companies are bound to limit our consumption in order to make more energy goods available to their American clients - who don't even have to pay GST to get it! Here's the punch line: We're in a direct contest for our own power. Isn't that funny?

And so, we offer our congratulations to all of these delightfully amusing individuals. We look forward to more of the same kind of entertainment as the spotlight continues to shine down upon their mirthful frolics - as long as the power stays on, that is. Although ironically, their antics are brought to light more so when we're left in the dark.

For more information on the energy saga:

Articles:

http://www.GregPalast.com/detail.cfm?artid=258&row=0

http://www.freepress.org/columns.php?strFunc=display&strID=735&strYear=2003&strAuthor=7

http://www.socialistworker.org/2003-2/465/465_16_Blackout.shtml

http://www.zmag.org/WTO.pdf

Some general information:

Web Sites:

http://www.canadiandimension.mb.ca/frame.htm

http://mondediplo.com/

http://www.zmag.org/

http://www.medialens.org/

http://www.fair.org/

Books:

Maude Barlow & Tony Clarke - Global Showdown
Norman Solomon - The Habits of Highly Deceptive Media
Russell Mokhiber & Robert Weissman - Corporate Predators: The Hunt for MegaProfits and the Attack on Democracy
David Edwards - Burning All Illusions